Students will become more conscious of their own writing voice after taking this lesson. At the end of the lesson, students are going to:
- improve their word choice abilities.
- practice using precise language when expressing themselves.
- use a range of sentence openings and sentence structures in your practice.
- using well-known writers as models, they write their own passages.
- keep a portfolio of their accomplishments.
- define the qualities of a passage that is written well.
- react to what their peers have written.
- apply what they have learned about effective writing to their own rewriting.
- using a rubric, they assess their own writing.
- To what extent does the writing process influence writing quality?
- How can we become proficient writers?
- How does writing function in our daily lives?
- Writing Process: Step-by-step phases that guide a learner through the selection of a topic, understanding of the purpose, drafting, editing, revising, and “publication” of a finished work.
- Descriptive Writing: The clear description of people, places, objects, or events using appropriate details. An effective description will contain sufficient and varied elaboration of details to communicate a sense of the subject being described. Details used are usually sensory and selected to describe what the writer sees, hears, smells, touches, and tastes.
- Topic: The main organizing principle of a discussion, either verbal or written.
- Purpose: The reason why students are writing. Notice that selecting the form for writing (e.g., list, report, essay, letter) is one of the choices that help the writer achieve the writing’s purpose. Writers also have choices about style, organization, and kinds of evidence that help achieve the purpose.
- Audience: An audience is a group of readers who read a particular piece of writing. As writers, students should anticipate the needs or expectations of the audience to convey information or argue for a particular claim.
- Metaphor: The comparison of two unlike things in which no words of comparison (like or as) are used (e.g., That new kid in class is a squirrel.).
- Simile: A comparison of two unlike things in which a word of comparison (like or as) is used (e.g., She eats like a bird.).
- Figurative Language: Language that cannot be taken literally since it was written to create a special effect or feeling.
- Sensory Details: The use of words and phrases that appeal to the five senses. Writers use sensory details to help readers imagine how things look, feel, smell, sound, and taste.
- Tone: The attitude of the author toward the audience and subject (e.g., playful, critical, ominous, wistful)
- copies of passages for style and tone, such as:
- a three-paragraph excerpt from My Ántonia by Willa Cather, Book I, available at http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/world/readfile?fk_files=270853&pageno=9%20
- a two-paragraph excerpt from To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, pp. 5–6, beginning with “Maycomb was an old town. . .” and ending with “. . .fear itself.” available at http://www.foldedspace.org/weblog/2005/12/in_praise_of_regional_writing.html
- copies of the rubric that will be used to evaluate the description of a startling moment. For example, you can use the PSSA Writing Scoring Guidelines (L-C-3-3_PSSA Writing Scoring Guidelines), also available at http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/community/pennsylvania_system_of_school_assessment_(pssa)/8757/resource_materials/507610 ; refer to the sample rubric (L-C-3-3_Sample Rubric); or compose your own rubric.
- a board, large screen, or easel with a large drawing pad to put up examples and student responses
- Focus on the author's voice and how it is produced throughout the lesson. Move among the groups while the students are working on the professional passages so that you can assist as needed, watch how the groups collaborate, and take note of any individual strengths and weaknesses.
- While the students are examining the updated student drafts, circulate them to assess their level of development and determine if they can recognize some elements of professional writing in the student drafts.
Explicit instruction, modeling, scaffolding, and active engagement
W: Students understand that they are writing a final draft of a description and building a portfolio of practice work.
H: Using what they learn to both improve their own writing and assist in responding to the writing of their classmates, students collaborate to analyze professional writing.
E: Give pupils tangible samples of well-written work, assist them in analyzing it, and give them chances to apply what they learn to enhance their own writing.
R: After revising their descriptions, students create an assessment rubric and discuss it. The teacher encourages them to reconsider the subject they will write about for their final essay, and if they believe they can write more effectively about a different subject, they are welcome to switch topics.
E: Students choose their final paper's direction with the assistance of expert examples and the evaluation rubric they created. Once their final draft is finished, they will also assess their own writing.
T: Students analyze samples of professional writing in groups as they get started on their assignment. Working with tangible examples and models gives them a better understanding of what is expected of them when they approach their own writing.
O: This session expands on the first two by assisting students in utilizing critiques of other people's work and peer feedback to enhance and fortify their final drafts of descriptions.
Focus Question: How can tone and voice be used to enhance our writing?
In groups, the students will read three samples of descriptive writing and assess the tone and voice of each piece. After that, they will share their findings with the class as a whole. Each group will present the most recent iteration of their account of an unexpected event and pinpoint the elements of a compelling narrative. Afterward, to receive a final grade, they will edit their own descriptions.
Analyze passages for tone and voice.
"First of all, I'm going to provide you with three passages to read together in your writing groups." Explain the activity to the class. "I want you to focus on the voice and tone of each passage. Or, what distinguishes each unique passage? Try to pinpoint specific actions that distinguish each writer from other writers. Pick one or two sentences in particular that, if you came across this author elsewhere, you think you would recognize as coming from them. Three passages are included: one by Harper Lee, one by Truman Capote, and one by Willa Cather. During your discussion, you can annotate the passages. You will work for approximately twenty minutes, after which you will present your findings to the class."
While the groups are working, circulate among them to provide assistance as needed, watch how the groups collaborate, and take note of any individual strengths and weaknesses.
Upon the expiration of the allotted time, ask one group to share its thoughts on the passage by Cather. Then, invite additional comments, debates, and suggestions. Provide a sample and allow students to come up with examples on their own if they need more practice with details that reveal their voice.
There may be a tone of amazement or awe. Remarks on voice could address the subject matter—the strength of nature—the details that show a thorough examination of the landscape, the creative analogy between the sea and the grass, the abundance of sensory details, and the range of sentence forms, lengths, and openings. The word choice is exact: the gentle swell of unbroken prairie, the color of wine stains, and the entire country seemed to be running. Strong verbs and participles include crossed, curved, climbed, and skirted.
Let another group take the lead in discussing the passage from Capote. The tone could be exuberant, happy, joyful, and full of wonder. The author's use of figurative languages, such as "round as an orange and orange as hot-weather moons, frogs the size of plates," and "pneumonia-making coldness" or "an ecstasy of shrillings," can be considered as well as the appreciation of physical detail and how nature is given personality and purpose (renegade hog, chastising thorns, the path unwinds, a disturbed armada of speckled trout). A vast range of sentence lengths, from one word to many, and an equally wide variety of patterns within the sentences are present, along with strong verbs like lusters, burnishes, froths, and trembles.
A third group will lead a discussion of Harper Lee's passage. The tone can be amiable, nostalgic, loving, lighthearted, languid, or slow-paced. Due to the way Lee expresses herself, comments on voice details could include a recreation of a past she remembers with affection, rich in sensory details, or rich in amusement: ladies "like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum," "a time of vague optimism for some people," because "Maycomb County had recently been told that it had nothing to fear but fear itself," and "Jem and I found our father satisfactory." The utilization of diverse sentence lengths that collectively establish a gradual and easygoing cadence
Ask students to keep a notebook of intriguing verbs they come across that they might not think to use in their writing. Give students the list and ask them to come up with a sentence of their own that incorporates a few of these verbs when you have time for a quick one- or two-sentence exercise. They will eventually seep into other works. Students should also keep an eye out for writing they enjoy if composition is taught alongside literature. Spend a few minutes pausing to carefully study a passage that someone has brought in to share or mentioned during the reading.
"You will soon be going back to your writing groups to read each other's descriptive papers again. Do the same thing you did with these professional writers' passages this time. Observe carefully what aspects of your classmates' writing set them apart as unique authors." Though they probably won't have as much work as they did with the student drafts, students still need to go through the process and be able to recognize several components. Before giving the papers and the notes that go with them back to the owner, have them complete this aloud together and record their thoughts. Say, "After you've completed this, I want your group to determine the qualities of excellent writing that you believe should be applied to the assessment of descriptive writing."
Go around the groups and observe how they are doing. Find out if they can recognize some of the traits of professional writing in the student drafts.
After students finish their readings and make a list of qualities, gather the class again and present the lists, accompanied by examples from student papers. During the discussion, make sure the students understand that the tone of the writing is an important component.
"You will then prepare a final copy of your revision," instruct students. "Recall that I stated at the start of the unit that while your participation and portfolio would account for the majority of your grade, you would also need to turn in a "final product" for a separate grade. You will submit the piece you have been consistently revising for your final grade." Make sure all students have a copy of the evaluation criteria that will be applied to their final draft. You can, for instance, create your own rubric or use the PSSA Writing Scoring Guidelines (L-C-3-3_PSSA Writing Scoring Guidelines), which is also accessible at http://www.portal.state.pa.us/portal/server.pt/community/pennsylvania_system_of_school_assessment_(pssa)/8757/resource_materials/507610
Regroup the students into groups if time permits, and assign them to read four sample descriptions that represent four levels of achievement. The descriptions can be your own, or they can come from previous classes and don't include any names. Ask them to discuss the papers and explain which one they would grade the highest and why. Make sure they include a list of the precise qualities that contribute to the papers' effectiveness.
Extension:
Most students can likely name at least a few traits of good descriptive writing. Use some of the above exercises if you think you might need more practice putting these qualities into your writing.
Ask students to briefly state their ideas for the topic and tone of their writing. As an illustration, consider a miserable moment while you wait for the dentist to start working. As you pose questions to the class, prompt them to jot down their answers. For instance, inquire, "What did you see?" The student responds, "A drill." How did the drill look? What sound did it make? Does it sound like anything else you've heard before? What kind of feeling did you anticipate? What more senses were there for you to perceive?"
