The cause-and-effect essay that the students wrote in Lesson 2 will be revised. At the end of the lesson, students are going to:
- make preparations for a final draft of the narrative essay, and provide and receive constructive feedback.
- revise drafts for:
+ content development and cause-and-effect relationships.
+ specific thesis.
+ topic sentences that are clear and relevant.
+ strong introduction and conclusion.
+ organization, transitions, and conventions.
- What is the objective?
- What makes writing clear and effective?
- What will appeal to the audience the most?
- Who is the target audience?
- Why do authors write?
- What function does writing serve in our daily lives?
- How can we become proficient writers?
- To what extent does the writing process affect writing quality?
- How does a writer produce narrative, informational, and persuasive pieces that are relevant to the topic, purpose, and audience?
- Cause and Effect: Cause statements refer to actions and events that have consequences, and effects are the consequences or what happens as a result of the action or event.
- Conditional Mood: Writing that contains a condition, which is often written as an if/then statement (e.g., If I walk the dog, then he will be less antsy.).
- Transitions: words, terms, phrases, and sentence variations used to arrange and signal the movement of ideas. For example, because, for, since, consequently, therefore, so that, thus, and in the end are all cause-and-effect transitions.
- copies of guidelines for Revising a Cause-and-Effect Essay (LW-8-2-3_Guidelines for Revising a Cause-and-Effect Essay) for each student
- copies of each student’s essay, one for each student in the peer review group
- a set of highlighters in different colors for each student
- copies of Cause-and-Effect Scoring Guideline (LW-8-2-3_Cause-and-Effect Scoring Guideline)
- copies of Informational Scoring Guidelines (LW-8-2_Informational Scoring Guidelines 6-8)
- copies of Conditional Mood (LW-8-2-3_Conditional Mood and LW-8-2-3_Conditional Mood KEY) for each student
- This lesson's objective is to help students finish the final draft of their cause-and-effect essay by editing and revising it. Listen in on the groups as they peer edit and provide assistance as needed to gauge the student's understanding of the material.
- Task-specific scoring guidelines provide precise standards for assessing individual contributions.
- When necessary, provide reteaching or examples, and offer more resources for more individualized practice.
Explicit instruction, modeling, scaffolding, and active engagement
W: Before writing a final draft of a cause-and-effect essay, each student edits a rough draft.
H: Students work on their essays in small groups during revision and editing sessions, using feedback from their peers.
E: In small groups, students assess each other's and their essays using a task-specific rubric.
R: After getting feedback, students edit their essays and provide comments on those of their group members.
E: Students will use their comprehension of cause-and-effect relationships to assess peers' feedback and assess other people's work.
T: As students go through the writing process, you might find yourself spending more time with those who require more practice at certain points. Make an appointment to speak with you one-on-one if students feel they would benefit from more practice with editing and revising.
O: After working on their final essay draft in small groups, students will perform an independent assessment.
Main Question: What are some efficient ways to revise essays?
Part 1
Assign each student a set of highlighters and a copy of the Guidelines for Revising a Cause-and-Effect Essay (LW-8-2-3_Guidelines for Revising a Cause-and-Effect Essay). Set up small groups with the students and inform them that they will be using these guidelines to provide and receive feedback on their cause-and-effect essays. Additionally, for reference, students should have their completed cause-and-effect outlines on hand. Inform them that they will use the group members' comments to create the essay's final draft.
Describe the goal of the group evaluation and revision process as pointing out the essay's weaknesses so the writer can fix them before submitting a final draft. Instruct students to highlight the essay's advantages or their personal favorites. Explain to them that their feedback should be specific rather than general. For instance, state that "you didn't provide enough examples" or "the examples are not specific or convincing" in place of "I don't like your support."
Students should start by responding to the essay as a whole. Next, they ought to utilize the highlighters to indicate particular passages in the essay that require improvement. You can designate a different color highlighter for every section of the revision guidelines, such as pink for focus and content and yellow for organization. Make sure the students take their time on this task. See to it that the groups advance well by keeping an eye on them.
Language Skills Mini-Lesson
Show the groups how to use the conditional mood in a few sentences of their cause-and-effect essays after they have finished their evaluation and revision.
"Let's look at a sentence structure that might help you craft some of your sentences before you start revising your drafts." Please provide students with copies of the Conditional Mood sheet (LW-8-2-3_Conditional Mood and LW-8-2-3_Conditional Mood Key).
Take the class through the first paragraph and the two examples. Give more examples, or ask students to come up with more and write them down so the class can see them. After directing students to read "The Effects of Being an Athlete," an essay from a previous lesson, have them go through the worksheet's middle section together.
In the last section of the worksheet, have students create if-clause conditional statements using sample sentences from the essay. Invite volunteers to share their interpretations, which might differ slightly.
"While you are editing your cause-and-effect essay, you might want to include one or two if-clause conditional statements. Don't use the conditional mood excessively. To maintain your reader's interest, keep in mind that sentence variety is crucial."
Part 2
Inform students that it is now time for them to edit their drafts. " Make sure to start your draft revisions with significant edits, like rearranging the structure or changing the content. Grammar and convention mistakes can be fixed once your content and organization are complete. Why should we use this method of revision? " Let the students answer.
"You save time in this way. Your previous grammar and usage adjustments might be meaningless if you spend an hour perfecting the punctuation only to find out later that you need to rewrite several paragraphs entirely. Prioritize the major adjustments before moving on to the minor ones. This is an efficient revision technique that you ought to employ at all times."
Provide copies of the Informational Scoring Guidelines (LW-8-2_Informational Scoring Guidelines 6-8) and the Cause-and-Effect Scoring Guideline (LW-8-2-3_Cause-and-Effect Scoring Guideline) to every student. If you have a rubric, you can also use it. In such a scenario, provide a copy to the students. Tell them that you plan to assess the essay using these rubrics. To ensure they have covered all the topics in their essays, students should consult the guidelines while they are writing their final drafts.
Give students time to edit their drafts and bring them to you for more comments. After that, give them a night or two to finish the final draft and submit it.
Extension:
Prompt students to publish their essays online or for classroom use. Through the free online platform Class Chatter, students can read and discuss each other's stories. Reading and commenting on the posts will only be possible for those who have the password that the teacher created.
A revised or marked-up essay example will be helpful to students who require more revision opportunities.
Arrange one-on-one conferences if students are having trouble incorporating suggested editing comments into their revision.
Read other short cause-and-effect essays to assess the organization and transitional style used by students who may need more practice. Refer to "Students' Cause or Effect Essays—Models," found in Advanced Composition for English Language Learners, accessible at http://www.eslbee.com/cause_effect_essays_models.htm, for example.
